Cauliflower mashed potatoes

 

I have a confession. Until today, I have never eaten a cauliflower.

I mean, look at it:

It's weird looking. Like an alien plant.

Or like God opened up his vegetable coloring book (I like to imagine him with the box of 64 crayons) to the broccoli page, got bored halfway through and said "screw it, it's finished."

It doesn't even taste as good as broccoli, in my opinion. But now that I've cooked with it, I'm willing to cut the poor albino veggie some slack. It's not his fault he isn't as delicious as his green cousin.

I digress. Cauliflower mashed potatoes! I got the idea from Can you stay for Dinner? but realized I didn't have quite the right ingredients, so I read through her recipe and another one I found online, and then just combined them all and made some steps up. And to my surprise it worked!

To make my awesome cauliflower mashed potatoes you need:

Ew. Don't eat this.

Get some non-mutated potatoes. 3 of them to be exact.

Wash them, peel them, and chop them in quarters lengthwise. Then toss them in a pot of boiling water

*Tip- if you add a dash of olive oil to a pot of water, it doesn't boil over! My sister taught me this =)

Then you chop the cauliflower into little florets. I do this (same thing for broccoli) by flipping it over and cutting off the stem part. The outer ring of florets will fall off. Cut the next level of stem, those florets will fall off. Keep going until the whole thing is in pieces. Arrange artfully on a wooden cutting board for maximum effect.

Add about 3/4 of a stick of butter and a big pinch of salt to a saucepan, throw in the cauliflower and braise over medium heat.

Braise
A cooking technique in which food (both vegetables and meat) is prepared by browning, then cooking slowly in a small amount of liquid, seasonings, and fat in the oven or in a covered pan on the stove top. The long slow cooking process develops flavor and tenderizes foods by gently breaking down their fibers. (definition from yumsugar.com)

 

You keep it covered and stir it occasionally until the pieces break apart when you poke them. Then you uncover it and simmer for awhile until the butter is gone. Be careful! Stir often at this stage or it will burn! Throw some pepper in while you're stirring.

Once the potatoes are ready you mash them, and then you add the cauliflower and mash that in with it. It won't have the same consistency as mashed potatoes, so don't kill yourself trying to make them not lumpy. The lumps are what give it charm! Add a 1/4-1/2 a cup of milk, depending on how mushy you want them.

I tasted it at this point and it was not spectacular, so I added A LOT of garlic salt and A LOT of parmesan cheese.

Then I tasted it again and I was floored. The lumpiness was charming and fun, and I couldn't stop eating it!

Next time I make this (and I WILL make it again) I'll probably cut down on the butter so that it's even healthier. It was nice to take a big helping of this and not feel guilty about how terrible it was for me.

Everyone else loved them too! It feels awesome to make something weird and different and be surprised by how exciting new foods can be.

Ingredients:

  • 3 potatoes
  • a large head of cauliflower
  • 3/4 stick of butter
  • garlic salt
  • pepper
  • salt
  • parmesan cheese
  • 1/4 - 1/2 cup milk
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