101 uses for Matzo

Chag Sameach, everyone! 

For the goyim in the room, that means happy passover. Yes, it's that wonderful time of year, the time we all look forward to ever so much. The time where we can't eat bread.

Now, I'm not what you would call deeply religious.  I consider myself more spiritual, if you must know. But the one part about Judaism I will always embrace is the food.

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 So Passover remains my favorite holiday, mostly because of the matzo ball soup. And despite the matzo.

Oh, matzo. You dry, tasteless, crumbly cracker, you. You're good for the first day, but by the end of the week I want to punch you. But of course that would just add more crumbs to the steadily growing pile on my floor, so I must refrain.

So what happens when you accidentally purchase 5 boxes of matzo? You simply have to come up with creative ways to use it.

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For example, it makes a pretty good breading for fried chicken!

You just place a few sheets of cardboard...uh, matzo...excuse me...in a plastic bag and commit some matzocide. When it's all crumbled, just use it instead of typical panko or breadcrumbs, and you can enjoy some crunchy fried chicken this Pesach.

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Any why not try using it as a decorative, edible napkin during your sedar?

Dropped some charoset on the table? No problem! Scoop it up with your matzo napkin and you've got a snack.

Spilled your fourth glass of wine? No problem! Sop it up with your handy matzo napkin and...throw it away. Because ew. And then get some real napkins, because you've made an even bigger mess.

Some other ideas for matzo include:

  • Rat or gerbil food
  • mulch for your spring garden
  • use instead of cotton or the suction tube to dry out your mouth during extended dental procedures

I think that instead of fasting for Yom Kippur, we should be forced to eat our way through a box of plain matzo...and we're not allowed to drink anything. If there's one thing that will make me think about my transgressions, it's a mouth full of dry matzo.

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But in the meantime, go ahead and think of creative uses for this bland cracker. Any suggestions? Leave a comment!

And completely unrelated, but prepare yourself for some nerdy and elaborate posts this weekend!!! Two of my favorite shows premier on Saturday and Sunday, AND Kevin is home for the week, so we'll be amping ourselves up with some themed food. I can't wait! 

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One thought on “101 uses for Matzo

  1. Ashley Bee (Quarter Life Crisis Cuisine)

    This is hilarious! I can't wait to show you what I'm making for my friend's Seder! It involves matzo 😉

    Reply

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