I'm back. No idea what direction this blog will take me, but I need to work through some stuff, need to write more, need to share things I've created, need to reach out to readers and other bloggers who are going through similar things, or would benefit from hearing about my experiences.
My life is in flux right now and things are crazy, so maybe using blogging will be a therapeutic outlet for me. An excuse to close the door on my husband and my dog (I have a husband and a dog now!) for an hour or two and have some me time.
I had been pulling back from blogging for a year or so before I actually went on a break, because I wasn't getting satisfaction from it. It felt like a chore, something that I wasted my evenings doing and got no feedback on. Similar to my book writing. Once the reviews and comments all but stop, the emotionally needy person (me!) thinks, "what's the point anymore?"
But not having many readers might work to my benefit. I have always struggled with living inside my head and ignoring emotions and feelings, or trying to analyze myself scientifically. For example, here is my genius step-by-step method when faced with, let's say, sadness:
- I am sad. Sad is bad. This is a waste of time, who wants to sit around and mope and cry?
- Why sad?
- Lets use the scientific method to figure out why I am sad
- Fix sad
- Fix whatever was causing me to be sad in the first place
As you can imagine, this does not work. Not only does it not work, but I need to stop punishing myself for feeling sad in the first place. Trying to figure out where the sadness is coming from is helpful, but not for the purpose of "fixing" the sadness.
So, what the fuck. Let's blog about emotions and shit. With an occasional recipe or pinterest-y craft thrown in for good measure. Wish me luck!